English Class by Kanye West

When we were playing the game in class and someone described Kanye West as "the guy who nobody likes who dissed Taylor Swift," I'm pretty sure that I heard someone say "I still like Kanye." It sounded like Ms. Serensky. Though I could did not previously picture her as the Kanye type, I figured that it would be o.k. to do a "Homecoming" remix because I am pretty sure she said that. I might have been hallucinating. But regardless, here it is.  

Yeah
And you say Chag city
Chag city, Chag city

I'm comin' to class again
Do you think I’m gonna pass the exam?
Do you think I’m gonna pass the exam?
'Cause I'm comin' to get a five, to get a five

I met this lady when I was 16 years old
And what I loved most she had so much soul
She said, "Excuse me, my new students, I know you don't know me
But my name’s Serensky and I don’t like packing lunches"

from that point we knew she packed her lunch
learned so much in that first year we liked to show it off
she made her class tough, did tons of work and stuff
Data sheets ‘till 3 am because they take so long

And when I stayed up I wondered when I would be done
Past my bedtime I worked away, so astounding
I told myself to trudge through it to not get a B
you should never mess with deadlines or you’ll get a D

She said your done now lets watch a fun movie
Knew Moushumi’s face was quite a sight so put it on the screen of the t.v.
I guess it's why English class is just very funny
She said, “Hey, keep laughin’ and keep laughin’ ‘cause that is so funny

(I'm comin' to class again)
Do you think I’m gonna pass the exam?
Do you think I’m gonna pass the exam?
'Cause I'm comin' to get a five, to get a five

Do you think I’m gonna pass the exam?
Do you think I’m gonna pass the exam?
'Cause I'm comin' to get a five

Maybe I should memorize some quotes

But if she really cared for us
Then she would have never showed us that pic, because its scary

Sometimes I still talk about it
But when I talk about it, it always seems like I have a bad dream

She said, "We’re gonna blog- you’ll like it just like me”
you can rap or praise Dooneese if you choose

But just don’t be rude, and don’t embarrass me or you
Talkin' 'bout bad curse words and stuff ‘cause its just not cool"

Now everybody got the metaphysical conceit question wrong
I guess she never taught it but she’ll teach it before we’re gone
I guess this is why I'm here so I can pass the exam
But if you don’t pass people, she’ll hunt you down in the hall

Every one of you is representin’ her, makin’ her proud
Reach for the a 5 so if you fall you don’t get a 2
stand out in the crowd, make sure not to have a breakdown

And if you don't know by now, I'm talkin' about Chag town

(I'm comin' to class again)
Do you think I’m gonna pass the exam?
Do you think I’m gonna pass the exam?

'Cause I'm comin' to get a five, to get a five



Students, do you remember when, you did not even know how to begin?
Oh, now I’m comin’ to class again, to class again
Students, do you remember when, you did not even know how to begin?
Oh, now I’m comin’ to class again, to class again
Maybe I should memorize some quotes

Loyee, oyeee, oh, loyee, oyeee, oh
Comin' to class again
Loyee, oyeee, oh, loyee, oyeee, oh
Comin' to class again

I really can’t believe it’s the end.

Byebye Sereeree

   I have a plethora of nicknames, some of which include Rossipoopoo, Ross the Boss...Sar Sar. Due to the fact that few poeple call me "Sarah," I tend to come up with nicknames for other people as well. Even the cashier at the grocery store named Janet. I call her Janiqua. Little did Ms. Serensky know that I came up with a nickname for her as well midway through junior year: Sereeree. I came up with this nickname in strings class after watching the French Open. I call Serena Williams "Sereeree," and realizing that Serensky and Serena sound much alike, I decided to make Ms. Serensky's nickname Sereeree. I dedicate this entry to Sereeree. Her class provided us with much important information and skills that we will carry with us for the rest of our lives. For most of us, if not all of us, AP English became a big part of our daily life. It also became most of our day. Data sheets from 3p.m. to 3 a.m., or for some of us a few hours each day and 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. or so the night before. Those were the good times. Eating Fig Newtons, possibly crying, and typing away at out Data Sheets. Working on those baby SOAPstones for a few hours and whipping them out, usually not crying and eating Fig Newtons in the early morning hours. The valuable reading and annotating, in my case obsessive compulsive annotating, where we wrote essays in the margains of the book. Yes, my notes in the margain of Amsterdam were far better and higher quality than the actual essay that I turned in. The discussions. They brought out the best and the worst in us. We learned to assert ourselves and deal with the fact that differing opinions do not mean wrong opinions. Unless of course you imply that you can tell the future or that a group of people in a story are indeed humans when they might not be humans. Those areas get a little bit questionable. We used to fear homework, but now we fear no homework due to the fact that we think that we are missing something and that we will show up to class failing to complete some assignment. Who else does that? Nobody, I assure you. Did you before AP English? We must appreciate all of the pearls of wisdom Ms. Serensky provided us with. Thank you Sereeree.

Junice, Madea, Ms. Serensky

Ten reasons why you should take AP English. They are arranged in order from least best reason(10) to best reason(1):

10. You might just get to blog. This provides you with the perfect way to post embarrassing pictures of your friends from Facebook on your blog multiple times!  Like pictures of them strangely staring at a flaming marshmallow on a twig that they hold in their hand! How fun!

9. You can talk in class without raising your hand, and Ms. Serensky does not get mad. In fact, do not raise your hand unless instructed to or you will look a little bit weird. This helps to avoid arm/shoulder pains or cramps. If you need to say something, just blurt it on out. Freedom of speech at its best.
8.  The freedom: Writing is subjective, so you possess the freedom to express your own unique outlook on the text through your essays and discussion points. No more right or wrong answer. As long as your support it, you can talk about virtually any topic of your desire(within moderation, and with the appropriate type of essay) The Cavs, Saturday Night Live...you choose!

7. The heated discussions:  When people start spewing at the mouth and voicing their various opinions things get a little hairy. This person offends that person and so that person makes a snarky comment to spite them and then they give each other death stares for the rest of class and roll their eyes every time each other talk. Forget the fact that the whole time they are arguing you are not getting discussion points. It is funny to watch the hysterics! These moments alone make AP English a worthwhile endeavour.

6. The books: They make you think. If you think Twilight is deep, wait until you enter into AP English. You will discover a whole new meaning to the word deep. No more picture books for you! Now, when you sit at the dinner table with your family, you can contribute to the conversation with some intellectual insights instead of just shoving your mouth with food or staring at a wall. You can even talk to the intellects at your school about some high quality literature and they will not look at you like you speak gibberish.

5. The movies. WOW is all I will say.
4. Ms. Serensky knows her stuff. If you fail the exam after her intense preparation I do not know what to tell you. Sorry, your fault.

3. You can be yourself: If you turn in a final project video in which you dress up like a man, speak in a horrible accent, and wear an Anderson Varejo wig, Ms. Serensky will not outwardly judge you. She might judge you on the inside, though. I am not in any way condoning wearing wigs to class on a daily basis.
2. The constant laughter: I do not remember the last time I left the classroom without laughing. I would rank Ms. Serensky up there with Junice and Madea, which truly shows her comedic nature. A true comedian. If you do not like to laugh or smile, or even open your mouth for that matter, this class is not for you. Wait, I took it...

1. Must I even say? Data Sheets. Data Sheet Eve is better than Christmas Eve and New Years Eve combined. You get to stay up the latest!

Just Kidding...

The Real Number 1: It might help you to uncover a passion that you never knew you had.

Creeping in the Window

Lady Bracknell, McMurphy, and Ralph, all extremely concerned as to how Sarah does on her AP English 12 Literature Exam, gather outside the Rec Center where Sarah sits to take her test. Lasy Bracknell's carriage sits in the senior lot waiting for them to return.

Lady Bracknell: "This shilly-shalling with the question is absurd."(Wilde 9).

McMurphy: [These] questions ain't bonebreakers, they ain't sticks and stones."(Kesey 68).

Lady Bracknell: "I would strongly advise[her] to try and acquire some [intelligence] as soon as possible, and to make a definite effort to [find the answer]."(Wilde 15).

 Ralph: "Take your time, [Sarah]"(Currie 255).

Lady Bracknell: "Hardly a thing to be encouraged."(Wilde 9).

Ralph: "Go for years." (Currie 46).

Lady Bracknell: "[Your] idea is grotesque and irreligious [Ralph]."(Wilde 50).

McMurphy: "Okay then...I hope [Sarah] isn't hearing this."(Kesey 122).

Lady Bracknell: 'I think it is high time that [she] make up [her] mind."(Wilde 9).

McMurphy: "[She] might never get...it [the answer]."(Kesey 273).

Ralph: "Quit worrying" "She understands." (Currie 246,248).

McMurphy: "It's simple enough [the exam]. There ain't nothing noble or complicated about it."(Kesey 73).

Lady Bracknell: "I am glad to hear it...[she] should know...everything."(Wilde 12). 

McMurphy: “You’re right.” (Kesey 72).

 Ralph: "Keep track of time [Sarah].” (Currie 253).
 

The stop time approaches and passes, and Sarah puts down her pen.

Ralph: “She’s smiling. She looks happy." (Currie 255).

The three stooges head back to the carriage. They must wait for the results until mid-July(about the third week to be exact).

Empathizing with Junior

           My favorite book of the year, by far, is Everything Matters! due to that fact that we did not complete a Data Sheet on this piece. The end. Just kidding, we wrote three in-class essays on it, so clearly, we did not avoid any work. I always seem to face many major predicaments while completing Data Sheets.  I wasted "precious moments" of Ms. Serensky's life  The conversation: " For the setting do we have to include... like street names?" Ms. Serensky replied "Precious moments of my life are ticking away right now." If we were to complete another Data Sheet for Everything Matters!, I would have inevitably had a question. Due to the typical nature of my questions, I would have wasted more "precious moments" of her life. None of this happened when reading Everything Matters!, which adds to the likability of the novel. Another crucial likability factor is the ability of a reader to sympathize, or better yet empathize with the characters. I found myself empathizing with Junior. Right from the start, we discover the umbilical cord wrapped around fetus Junior's neck: "The umbilical chord draws tighter around your throat"(5). In case you did not know, the umbilical chord was wrapped around my neck as well. Note: this did not at all contribute to the largeness of my head. Due to our similar prenatal situations, I empathized with a fetus right off the bat on page five of the novel. Not often do you find yourself empathizing with a character so soon without more personal information, better yet a fetus. I did. Similarly, I used to "Sit on the kitchen floor...and brood like an unhappy child" as Junior does (37). As a child, we had a three-level shelf in the kitchen next to the window, one of the shelves at the bottom about one inch from the ground. Whenever my sister and I got in trouble or were just looking for something to do, we would go sit on the bottom shelf and laugh, cry, or not laugh and cry. It was the cool hang out spot at the Ross Household until my 6'3 father decided to dance around the kitchen one day and shake the floor until the shelves fell over and broke. Junior and I, we both needed some alone time, though he sat on the floor ...and technically, I sat on a shelf an inch from the floor.Close enough. On a more serious note, the book made me think about my life and my future, which made me a little scared. I fear doing something that I do not enjoy.  I began to realize, just as Junior does, that "It does all matter. All of it"(268).  I feel as if after reading this novel, I have had an epiphany of sorts. I need to do what I enjoy in life, like eating Fig Newtons and watching basketball.And maybe even get a job so that I do not end up living in a cardboard box. Maybe aspire to be on Saturday Night Live one day. Clearly, I related well to this novel. Thank you Ron Currie Jr., for this wonderful piece of literature.

My Top 10

These are in order from least thrilling(10), to most thrilling (1).

10. The day I learned the value of paying attention in class. It was in 10th grade Honors Algebra II when I got a D on a test(in other words I thought that the world was going to end) and so I tried very hard to understand the next chapter. I did significantly better on the next test(a D+, just kidding it was an A), and thus from then on forward, and to this day, I pay attention in class. It will improve your grades drastically that I would "bet you anything"(Wilde 17). I would bet you a million dollars. 

9. The day Ms. Serensky read my Dream Journal out loud to the class as part of her "Blog Banter." It is always nice to know that someone appreciates your writings even though every other word is spelled wrong. When you are in third grade and do not know how to spell "stub," you should possess some concern because, quite frankly, "its pretty simple"(Currie 156). It was especially reassuring when Ms. Serensky told me "It's alright" after I told her that I was indeed in third grade at that time, and visibly a bit behind the learning curve in the writing department. This particular moment finally assured me that "It's alright" that I could not form a sentence in third grade. I feel a little bit smarter and maybe I can go off to college now. Thanks, Ms. Serensky.

8.  Though they do not have a high school class called, "Outfit Styling" in our school, I believe that dressing appropriately for school or any type of public venue is extremely important. Thus, when Mark Wood first walked onto the stage in orchestra with his skin tight leather laced up pants and see through white shirt, I learned something very important. What not to wear EVER! I would never wear such an outfit unless in costume, "I'd sooner die" (Wilde 25). Though I appreciate his spunk and eclectic sense of style, it taught me a very important lesson in which I consider to fall under the category of academically thrilling.

7. The day I learned how to say the word "corn" in French class. One might tell you that they learned how to say "corn," or "le mais" in Middle School French, but I did not learn such a thing until high school French. This moment was academically thrilling not only due to the fact that corn falls into my top five favorite foods , but due to the fact that this very word helped me many a time on French speaking exams. One time the speaking prompt was: "How do you spend your money?" Of course, I went on a corn field day with that one, "you can hardly imagine"(Wilde 15). Corn was about the only word I knew, and it helped me to get an A on the speaking exam multiple times.

6. The day I finished the book Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Er...I refer to her as Barbara, plainly and simply. Ms. Serensky, I know you will probably roll your eyes when you read this, but I it needs to be said: I never fully read a novel/play/short story for school up until that point. Therefore, this moment made me feel like a true scholar. I could finally classify myself as a scholarly student! Success! You are probably thinking to yourself, "Are you serious?"(Currie 149). Yes, I am serious. This was one of the most fulfilling days of my life.

5. The day we beat the "Dream Team" at the multiple choice game. Though some people believe that I "leech off of Kaleigh and that my claim to fame is Kaleigh," I still find this day to be most academically thrilling. And people, you are right, Kaleigh and her 92% always help our team out. But we must not forget Emily and Cat who get alot of answers right as well and help Kaleigh to settle me down when I realize how many answers that I have gotten wrong proportional to the total number or problems! I look at my score and "I'm disappointed in myself"(Currie 165).

4. The day that I got back my paper in which we wrote about what we would do if the world were to end upon turning 36. Finally, I realized that maybe I should actually try to make an appearance on Saturday Night Live one day. It made me truly take into consideration the advantages of possessing a big forehead and a little sense of humor, as there can never be enough Junices, or "Dooneeses" as some say. This epiphany was quite the thrill, as I realized that I might as well try and do something entertaining with my life besides become a corporate lawyer! I boredom might cause me to end up "as crazy as loons"(Kesey 145).

3.Writing the argument essay on my AP Exam. The saddest thing is that I am not sure that I am even spelling argument right. I enjoyed writing it. Let me just say that I do not at all write argument essays in my spare time, "I swear"(Kesey 47). Anyhow, on my AP Exam Argument essay, I based a body paragraph on Indiana Pacers fans and how I am able to diss them in a humorous way in order to avoid hurting their feelings too much. I love basketball, and I hate people who are not Cavs fans, so to describe my methods of dissing Cavs haters on the AP Exam was quite a thrill, and an essay in which I wish I had a copy of.

2. The day I received an English award last year. The only other school related award that I had ever won was the "Perfect Attendance Award" in 8th grade. I was so proud of my "Perfect Attendance Award" because it was my only one, that I framed it. All I had to do was show up to school, nothing else. That's what makes the whole matter so sad. This is what I thought when I approached Ms. Serensky after not being there: 'She's [Ms. Serensky] so furious"(Kesey 5).

1. Passing my AP Exams. Anything to take less classes in college next year. I need as much time as possible to devote to Buckeye sports. I knew that I should knock out some credits, "I just thought it would be better"(Kesey 265). Go Bucks!

Discrepancies

          My favorite poem, Stephen Dunn's "Discrepancies," is not my favorite due to it's content. I did enjoy the content of the poem might I add. This poem provided me with another recorded memory, just as my childhood dream journal did. The most bizarre of events occurred due to this poem, which ultimately led to my possession of yet another reminder of how truly unique I still am to this day, just as my childhood dream journal reminds me of how truly unique I was before. I openly admit to this uniqueness, and "it probably goes without saying"(108). Anyhow, my interpretation of the implications of Stephen Dunn's work was that you should look to gain a better understanding of the people around you and look to see their true colors. In the poem, Dunn directly refers to a lady with a jewel on her forehead. Therefore, I thought that I should make my title "The Jeweled Forehead," as I wanted my title to pertain to the poem as much a possible, as well as the immediate focus of my work. I was a bit skeptical though, to really name my paper "The Jeweled Forehead", as I thought that Ms, Serensky would believe me to be a racist when that was not at all the intention of my title. I decided to call Katie Connolly, a voice of reason, to consult her about the appropriateness of this title. She said something along the lines of, "Why is that a problem?"(132). She did not find it to be as big of a deal as I did. Somehow, though we STILL can not figure out how this happened, Katie's cell phone recorded our entire conversation, start to finish. It was the most bizarre thing ever, and the most bizarre conversation ever if you could call it that! Personally, I believe that it was meant to be, as this magically recorded conversation might even top my childhood journal entries. I can not really describe it to you, except for the fact that it was just kind of a little bit funny. When I listen to it I usually laugh, though I only listen to it about once a month since that’s about "all I can manage"(197). I will tell you this, it is quite interesting. Without Stephen Dunn and his poem "Discrepancies," I would not have magically obtained this recorded conversation about the title of my poem. I will probably try and keep it on my phone forever,  like my Dream Journal, as it is a little reminder of my childhood, or in this case teen years, that just really makes me laugh.   English just seems to provide me with ways to form and rekindle such great memories. Thank you, Stephen! And that is why Stephen Dunn's poem will always be my favorite. It provided me with just another memory of myself as a child. I still refer to myself as a child due to the fact that I have the maturity level of a five year old.